Weird Day

So uh, TLDR: I'm going vegan, I guess I pass a little too well now, and nobody in the united states is safe anymore!

I'm going to get that last one out of the way real quick for you all, all legal citizens are at risk of being sent to prison in El Salvador. This administration (this coup) legally they can't but legality does not matter when they can send you over without due process and then claim that El Salvador refuses to send you back. Just like that, they have the ability to make people disappear forever. Simply talking about it makes me a suitable candidate for the process. It is seriously hard to gage just how fucked we all are. Now more then ever we can't stick our heads in the sand, we have stay aware and resist. We outnumber their cult, don't forget that. The amount of people that protested on April 5th should give you hope in this. April 19th is another planned protest against Trump, join your local protest show them just how outnumbered their cult is. Don't bring your phone, if you really need communication then on the way over buy a burner phone (with cash) that you can destroy once you leave (do not bring it home!). Don't send any information on these phones that could be traced back to you. Speak in code if possible. Wear masks. If you are going to a protest with other people, make sure they are all doing the same stuff listed off above.

Going Vegan

This has been a long time coming. Throwing up those unidentified chunks of meat really set something off in my brain so since then I have not been able to eat meat without forcing myself to. Add this on top of my gluten sensitivity, I had little to no regular food that I could eat in the house. Yesterday I told my mom that I really want to go vegetarian or vegan because I have been struggling with eating meat. She went to Wendy's right after to get my dad some food and figured she would get me something too, well all she brought back for me was a single beef patty with cheese since Wendy's doesn't do a gluten free bun. I broke down crying when I saw that. I've already only been able to eat small amounts since the ER trip so seeing that the patty was all I had to eat just set me off. We had gluten free buns at home luckily but it still it sucks that I had to force myself to eat more meat.

Well today was a bit different. My mom had been planning to take me shopping for gluten free stuff with her today so while getting ready to go I explained why I cried yesterday and she was shockingly receptive. She told me we could buy some vegan stuff while at the store. She we got a ton of stuff for me to eat and honestly a lot of it's not half bad. For dinner, tried a plant based hotdog and fried tempeh. The hotdog was shockingly hotdog like, some of the vegan hotdogs that I saw back in 2018 were not something I could get behind so I was plesantly shocked with this one. The tempeh has become one of my favorite foods! I cut it down into small strips then cut it in half. After that, I cooked them in a pan with olive oil until all sides on the pieces were looking crispy and golden brown and then I sprinkled them with some salt after taking them out of the pan. Without dipping it into anything it tasted a bit like a nutty hashbrown. Dipping it into soy sauce is really good. It was cheap so and has a bunch of protien and other good stuff so I will likely be cooking a ton of it in the future!

On top of having physical and mental issues with eating meat, I've been feeling the moral aspect of it too recently. The meat industry is notorious for treating it's animals poorly and humans have kind of moved past the need for meat within our diets, anyone telling you otherwise is refusing to face reality. I'm not telling everyone to not eat meat but rather just am trying give you a question to think about. That question is, unless you are in a situation where you have to hunt for meat or oppurtunity only provides you with it as food, why would you go out of your way to eat it?

Pyrrhic Victory

Today has been weird for me. All US citizens's step out of line with Trump's good graces now risk being put in a foreign country's prison with no way back but hey at least I'm finally cutting meat and animal products out of my diet and on top of all that I am starting to pass a little too well now. While I was at the store with my mom I noticed that I was not getting nasty glares like I used to. I used to get really nasty stares from right wing nutjobs whenever I went outside, the worst one was when I was at a Five Guys with my parents eating and minding our own buisness when I notice some dude with a maga hat staring me down like he was going to fight me. I noticed it because he was sitting behind my parents. He looked down all of twice the entire time we were there. I live in a blue state but a really right leaning part of it so to say I don't feel safe is going and doing stuff alone is an understatement. Where I live, christain chruches litter the streets where like coffee shops do in densly populated cities.

Well today instead of being stared at like I was about to get the shit beaten out of me, I got stared at like a piece of meat. Mixed feelings about that one. On one hand, with the way that I am dressed today I guess I pass with flying colors. That's pretty good for my dysphoria. On the other hand as a demisexual, the idea of random people sexualizing my body bothers me. I didn't even dress in a revealing way at all. I all I did was brush my hair, put on a black long sleeve shirt that goes a bit past my waist, and a pair of jeans. I saw at least 5 people walking with similar looking clothes and that was just on the way over to the store. Yet because I have long hair and boobs all of a sudden I stand out to these people. Really makes you realize how awful those people that say "it's because of how she dressed" in reference to rape victims are. I already knew they are awful people but today has reminded me of when someone genuinely tried to push that point in an argument with me. Cut people out of your life for saying shit like that.

Life has decided that only now, while the country is falling apart around us, that I am able present myself authentically and eat in a way that isn't actively causing me problems. Only now that people like me are being legally persecuted. Only now that the price of everything is fucked. Only now that we are living under fascism. Only now that people are disapearing.

Get out and protest.