I'm scared of the future

TW: Lots of fucked up topics

Some of you might have read my mock version of tumblr called dumblr on the PC page of my site. If you have seen it then you might recall the post titled "My head is about to burst I swear" where I talked about my current thoughts on US Politics. It's been awhile since then and I have some more thoughts.

I'm not going to sugar coat it. If Trump wins this election, me and other trans people you know could very well die. It should be very clear to everyone with a reasonable frame of mind that Trump and his political party are trying to enact policies and rules that put everyone's lives at risk, let alone the trans community that they have been villainizing for years now. I'm frustrated that the other option is now, yet again, damage control rather then someone I want to genuinely vote for.

"The most evil person" is actually Trump

There is no convincing people that still are voting for Trump to not vote for Trump. These people have witnessed everything that has happened since 2016 and his past before getting into politics. This man has always been evil. There is no "both-sides" bullshit on this one. Trump is at the very least a traitor to the US, has several accusations of sexual misconduct, has direct ties to Project 2025, and speaks so many lies that just in the time span between January 2017 and January 2021 he had lied 30,000+ times on record (roughly 16 a day).

I've lost a lot but gained more

Despite Trump literally being the definition of evil, people will attempt to say "both sides bad". To be clear both sides are not great but you gotta give some sort of credit to the one that isn't planning to actively kill it's own citizens. Due to this, I have gone out of my way to cut off almost all of my extended family due to their extremely right wing views. These people never respected my pronouns when I first came out in 2017 and they still don't to this day. I've made friends only to have to cut them off due to pro Trump sentiment. I would have loved to have made things work with everyone but unfortunatly these people vote in a way that will actively harm me and people like me. You can't argue with them on it because again, they defend Trump to the ends of the earth and do not speak in good faith. Mentally I have had some really low points due to this.

Luckily, when I was at my lowest point I properly met my current boyfriend and really hit it off. Since then I have been pretty happy with life but now it's all at risk due to Trump and his cult.

The impact on my living situation

I don't know what I am going to do if/when shit hits the fan. Theres going to be a decent chance that I don't make it out of the US in time. To make it worse, on November 4th me and my father had a heated argument over politics. He ended up calling me a extremist in response to me stating that I would sleep easier at night if Trump had actually got assassinated by one of the two attempts. I told him to go fuck himself and am no longer on speaking terms with him. This doesn't exactly work however I live in the same house as him and this has been a issue over the past few years. He's been chomping at the bit to get rid of me so he overeacts to everything I do despite him being an asshole every chance he gets. So yeah, I might just drop off the face of the earth at some point.

The whole argument happened in the first place because he had "lost" my ballot which is a felony if I recall correctly. The man is quick to anger, quick to yell (and does it despite knowing I have PTSD from it), and has so many more issues but my mom is quick to defend it despite it literally being abuse. She tells me stuff like "He yells because he learned from his childhood" and "He's always been like this, but he's slowly getting better".

First of all, why should that be my problem? Why should his past trauma be thrusted upon me and justified? Second off, no he has not gotten better. He still does this shit. Any amount of that shit is not ok. She gets abused by him too and most people that are abused don't realize or have been conditioned to either not care or fear their abuser. I refuse to fear this man anymore, which puts me at risk. I understand why she does it but it's not ok and is apart of the problem. And it for sure does not justify when they both trapped me in a corner and beat the shit out of me.

Whatever happens, happens.

While I am scared about the future, I don't want that to get in the way of enjoying rest of my life no matter how short it might be. I just got started getting my life together and I would rather not waste the rest of it being concerned with things that are quite literally out of my control at this point.

If you have a loved one that is trans and lives in the United States, please reach out to them.

In case this has been my final blog post, thank you all for reading and goodbye.

Update from 11/6/24

Resist fascism at all costs. Our lives depend on it. Please join and make groups and communities. We all need to stick together and support each other in order to have a chance at reaching the light at the end of this tunnel. Most importantly, stay safe.