Inner Machinations

6/12/26

Today I have been getting PMS symptoms, I had to leave work early because of it. The cramps, headaches, irritability, etc made it too hard to try to do anything. Once I got home Tina was taking care of me and we watched a bunch of ATLA. After that, I layed down with a heat pad on my stomach and started listening to some Graham Kartna. I didn't fall asleep, was fully conscious, and was sober but despite this I had an out of body experience. At first it started as my body feeling like it was getting really long, then it felt like I was melting. Once I felt like a puddle I started to feel weightless and like I was in the air. A few moments later I was staring at my own body from inside my room. I looked behind at the mirror and saw myself as feminine humanoid blob of clear yet viscious blue liquid. I was strangely ok with this and went out of my way to keep this experience going for as long as I could. I was able to transform into different shapes and beings but every time I stopped trying I returned to the feminine figure. It was a short experience and only lasted for about 10 minutes before I returned to my body against my will.

The experience left me feeling really happy but also sad that it wasn't real. I told Tina about the experience and she almost sounded concerned but I felt really nice. I kept giving her a happy look and assured her it was fine. The brain can be strange. Before today this wasn't a fantasy for me but now I find myself wishing I could experience it again but for longer this time.