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Welcome to my blog where I get opinionated and shit.

12/18/2025

sesbian lex

11/2/2025

Last month was such an awful month. I'm so glad that this one has been infinitely better so far. (only two days in lol)

My best friend is now my girlfriend!!! After the stress from last month letting her know how I feel nearly put a hole in my stomach and had me on the verge of throwing up, but I did it and she said she feels the same!!! I love you so much Tina <3 Looking forwards to the days when we get to be cozy together in bed while watching shows, movies, playing games, cooking each other food, and getting to know each other even better.

10/25/2025

What a fucked up month. At least now I have a plan for moving forward.

10/21/2025

Still working on my 100,000 view special. My mind wonders elsewhere frequently and I find myself busy with emotions, I'm sure you understand. The way things ended with him could have been worse. It still wasn't good as it was. I told him maybe we could make something work in the future but the longer that time goes by, the less I find myself invested. I thought I was going to marry him. Now I don't know what I was thinking. I wish him nothing ill but you can't basically say the past two years has been a lie and expect that to sit well with your ex fiancee. He brought me back from my lowest low and two years after nearly dragged me right back there.

Today has been pretty nice. I got to talk to my best friend a ton. She thinks she ruined things between me and him but things were already ruined before she got ahold of the situation. She's talented, funny, holds similar political beliefs, similar interests. Honestly she's perfect. Listening to her speak or seeing that I got a text from her perks me up and helps me get out of negative thought patterns. Honestly I would stay on call with her all day if I could. I wish she didn't live so far away.

10/14/2025

While grocery shopping some old guy stared at me with his eyes bulging out kinda like a cartoon character when they see someone they find someone attractive.

I'm just going to wear baggy clothing from now on while at that store. I'm just trying to get my damn groceries.

10/11/2025

I broke up with him

The last post wasn't directed at him but rather the friend that I was talking about him with.

10/4/2025

I understand that you are a hopeless romantic, please understand that I'm hopelessly tired.

9/24/2025

Someone in the house kept taking my food without asking so now I get to keep it all in my room, ugh. I generally wouldn't care if people asked me first like I had originally said was ok, but that's not what's happening. No, instead someone's going behind my back and doing it. I only have so much until the end of the month aside from spaghetti. I have shit tons of ingredients for spaghetti and dry soup mixes but one cannot (or at least should not) live off of these alone.

9/22/2025

My brother's dog got into a garbage can and managed to cover the entire room in garbage. I cleaned up as much as I could but theres only so much that can be done without a proper carpet cleaning -_-

The dog seemed to have ate something that will likely get her sick. Not looking forward to when she vomits or has diarrhea. Will she learn her lesson? Probably not. She doesn't really learn unless there is treats involved and guess what she now thinks the trash can is full of.

9/21/2025

I've been saving cake mix for a special occasion. Decided to make it up today, whats the special occasion? I guess I'm celebrating managing to stay alive, how well the HRT has worked for me over the past 2 years, the friends met along the way, etc. The future is uncertain but what is certain is that I'm here right now despite believing I wasn't going to make it past 19. I have medical conditions that I haven't mentioned here before but it had me thinking I was going to die pretty young and that there was nothing I could do about it. I was so close to killing myself towards the end of high school because I almost had to do another year (I was already a super senior), I thought my gender dysphoria was going to finally drive me to the point of doing it. Yet, despite it all, I am still here. All these issues have been confronted and dealt with as much as possible. There is still the issues that my parents promised to pay to fix for a decade but never did but at this point you all are aware of my opinions of my parents. Negligent is lightly putting it how they treated me and my siblings. I'm not giving them what they want anymore which is holding those kinds of things over me. The point that I am trying to get at with all of this is that despite everything that the US government is doing to try to make my existence and the existence of people like me illegal, I'm choosing to reflect on all the positive and growth that I've experienced and enjoy the night. Choosing to not let them get to my head and instead celebrating all that has made life worth living until now. Another reason for the cake is that I never got one this year. Come to think of it, it's been 5 years since I've had one for my birthday, despite me making them for my mom's birthdays. It's not my birthday today but screw it, sometimes you gotta treat yourself. Sometimes you gotta prioritize your own feelings. You deserve your yearly cake dammit!

The cake turned out well, shared it with my siblings :3

I thought everything was ok and everyone was happy now that we had cake but I can hear my older brother and his significant other yelling in the other room. Oh well, it was a nice night up until this point. I could go on about how the argument was bullshit but I'd really rather not go to bed upset. Hearing people get that loud and upset through the walls will never not remind me of my parents yelling all the time when I was a kid so I already get to deal with that. I hear them getting loud again while typing this, I should find some earplugs to block it out or something.

9/20/2025

Music, games, and doing something creative has all failed me as an outlets for my stress today. Fuck it, I'm going back to sleep.

I got one hour of sleep then my body decided to I'm up for the rest of the night.

9/19/2025

Been playing through some Half Life 2 on my 360. On PC all the horror aspects of ravenholm might as well not exist for me thanks to the ridiculous amount of time that I used to spend playing FPS games on pc. On a 360 controller that I'm not nearly as good with, not so much. I got jumped by a fast zombie while taking what felt like an eternity in the moment to look towards it. It sent me flying off the roof and then I died. Never on PC would that have happened to me nor scare me as bad as it did. Valve did a really good job with that section of the game.

9/18/2025

Just made a stand for my TV so I can play 360 and Wii games in my room, playing in the living room was causing some conflict + I've been wanting to work more with my hands anyways. Honestly it was way easier then I expected it to be. I might make some more furniture in the future.

9/17/2025

It's stressful, anxiety inducing times we live in. If you find yourself spiraling you should try exersicing. It makes your body release dopamine and serotonin which make you feel better. Also if possible and if not already done, try fixing your diet.

Anyways I will now return to my monthly cramps and try to not think too hard about the ongoing demonization of trans folk going on in the USA. At least the area that I moved to seems pretty understanding and accepting of us.

9/16/2025

Sometimes I forget that I'm still working through all the trauma given to me from my most recent ex. Sometimes I'll feel like I randomly got sent back in time back to when I was still with them, it's a deeply upsetting experience. The sexual harassment that I experienced was not ok, nor was the general mistreatment but clearly one of those was worse than the other. They somehow made me feel like I had deserved it all. They used the promise of marriage to fool me into believing they truly loved me. When I get that sent back in time feeling, it's generally very panic inducing. Thankfully after some time and retracing my steps, I come back to the present day and remember how my fiance and I met and it always makes me cry a ton. He was there for me when nobody else was. He built back up my self confidence when it had been violently destroyed. He made sure I actually ate food when at my lowest. He taught me that love isn't just lip service, that it's two streets parallel to each other. Two drivers stick side by side and have to communicate with each other about when to move and how. The drivers have each other's trust.

Word of advise, don't keep up with people trying to run you off the road. That "taken back in time" feeling is PTSD.

9/15/2025

Tina told me that my website is on the front page of special sauce on neocities. I checked and sure enough it is. To all the new visitors, welcome to the shit show! However if you are a fascist or fascist sympathizer, kindly fuck off and eat shit.

9/14/2025

Reminder that trans women can have what are essentially periods, despite not bleeding. Why am I bringing it up? Shits hitting me hard today holy fuck. I think today is mostly going to be a bedrest kind of day for me.

Update:
I've known this is a thing for awhile now, I can tell when it is normally happening. It's just never been this bad for me before. I am getting really bad cramps, headaches, and nausea. Last night was so nice too and then I wake up to this shit. Ibuprofen, staying hydrated, and holding a warm water bottle to the to the area helps but only so much.

9/8/2025

Well it's offical, my parents put off the hospital bill for so long now that it went to collections and I am in debt. I only told them every one of the 14 times that the hospital texted me since May 6th saying it was going to go to collections. Beyond pissed with my parents rn. They promised to pay for this shit and now instead of doing it properly they are trying to give me $100 a month to pay for it. I'm extremely tempted to tell them to take their $100 and pay it themselves because I did my part up until now. To be clear they have claimed they have the money for it the entire time yet they waited 4 months and until it hit collections to do anything about it. Fuck, I really hate my parents rn. I was supposed to be looking for an apartment within the next year or two so theres a good chance I won't be able to find anything now with the hit to my credit score. It's almost like they know I'm going no contact for the most part when I move out and are trying to hold me hostage as long as they can.

8/26/2025

My older brother got a cheap 14 inch charcoal BBQ for a beach trip with my family that never happened. I am very thankful that he got it because I found a ton of beyond burger patties for a really good price. That and it's really nice to sit next to at night when the tempatures start to drop. Sitting by the BBQ radiating heat while looking at the stars has become a fond passtime of mine. Yes, you can use it to roast marshmallows too :3

8/25/2025

My fiance flew home :( Btw yes you read that correctly. My boyfriend is now my fiance :3

I am pretty sad from him going back so I'm holding off on making videos for a while. That being said, I will totally be making more bug blogs since I have stockpiled a bunch of bug pics since the last one.

My parents still have not helped me pay for the hospital bill despite saying many upon many times that they would. I have not been saying anything about it because it's basically the same situation as when I last mentioned it except now I'm constantly being threatened to be put on collections. At least the state that I moved to now gives me grocery money so I'm not having to starve and be malnourished anymore (I am so happy about that) AND my dad can't use the excuse that me being vegan is a drain on his money. Having my older brother and his significant other around is helping with keeping my parents level headed so at least things have calmed down on that front for now. Aside from my fiance going back home and the hospital bill, I'm doing pretty ok right now.

I think there is a good chance I would not be alive without all of the people who supported me with their words and time so to help with my mental state + everyone who donated I could afford food, so I sincerly thank you all for being there when I needed it the most.

8/9/2025

Charles has been missing for a day now :(

8/7/2025

Found my old skateboard in the pile of boxes that I need to go through. Proceeded to ride it until I wiped out pretty hard. Elbows hurt, pulled a muscle in my arm, and have a massive bruise on my lower torso. I don't bounce back from falls as quick as I used to but that's not going to stop me lol.

The spider that I took pictures of in Bug Blog #4 was named Charles by my boyfriend. Today I found Charles balled up with it's web nowhere to be seen :( Very lightly poking it with a leaf confirmed it's still alive and well enough to react. It's probably recovering after the storm. Rest up lil spider bro.

8/6/2025

Painted my boyfriend's nails :3
Hopefully the music festival this weekend is fun! There is going to be a bunch of local punk bands playing I am excited for it.
Where I used to live we only got stand up comedians and country singers at the casino 30 minutes away.

7/30/2025

I've lost 20 pounds since the move...

7/11/2025

I'm moving with them unfortunately

7/10/2025

Bringing back the dumblr blog because holy shit I need this format. Being able to write up my thoughts or feelings without the high effort stuff can feel therapeutic at times. My parents are back at it with the shitty behavior. Apparently I'm supposed to sit there and allow my dad to force his "centrist" political views down my throat while in a car with him for 10 or so hours. That shit was genuinely traumatizing, he called me an extremist twice during that ride so I called him a fascist sympathizer. Almost a week later I'm still not on speaking terms with him yet he tried to talk to me so I went silent then confronted my mom about what happened yet again. She defends his actions and makes me out to be the bad guy. They are both caught up on me "spouting violent rhetoric" which I never did. What I did say was "I don't see any way around a civil war" and "making militias is an act protected by the second amendment". Anyways I wasn't having it and my parents went off on me. The only reason my dad did not get into my face was because my boyfriend got between him and me. My dad still yelled and threatened to call the cops of course. The only thing that got him to stop was my mom threatening divorce and even then that did not entirely stop him. For the first time today I saw my boyfriend cry tears of fear with the cause of it being my dad... I think we went past a point of no return today. Btw the move is finally happening tomorrow however I kinda told them I can't be around them and that I was going to another state where my best friend is but she realized after that she doesn't have the space for me to crash on the couch. Nothings set and stone, I might go with them or I might wind up homeless which in this area during summer is a death sentence. Only tomorrow will tell me which will happen. I'll try to make another dumblr post once I know which it is. I'm so tired of living with my abusers.

4/4/2025

Ever listen to the super mario 64 staff role and break down crying? Still no word on the bills yet.

4/1/2025

I am feeling a little bit better now that I have all the new meds working in my system. Still waiting to figure out how much the ER trip is going to cost.

3/31/2025

Life, please give me a break from the pain. Even just a momentary one would be nice.

03/31/2025

I FORGOT THAT I'M GETTING WISDOM TEETH EXTRACTED TODAY, FUCK

03/30/2025

I've been resting for most of the day. Finally have my meds so now we can see if they will help or not.

03/29/2025

Fuck, they got me drinking the 4 liter jug of Polyethylene Glycol 3350. Things are about to get really shitty around here.

03/29/2025

Ok I'm home and got some rest in me. I meant to update this once I knew what was going on but it was like 5 am when we got out and both me and my mom were dead tired. We ended up transfering ER rooms since the first one's CT Scan machine was not operational. The doctors think it's a bottleneck in my intestines. I'm not convinced thats the entire problem but who knows at this point. At least I am prescribed meds that should help me function once I get them. If it happened earlier in the day and if my mom wasn't right there the entire time at the first hospital I probably could have better communicated how I felt. Anyways I got to wait for the meds to see if it helps before making any judgement calls.

The night was super rough. I'd really rather not recount what my parents did. My boyfriend was on call for the entire thing and heard it all, he says he feels shellshocked to say the least after all of that. Honestly, I don't think thats an overstatement. Now imagine putting up with similar behaviour for your entire life. I've specifically avoided talking about them on my site because I have to live with these people but I don't fucking care anymore. What happened now and in the past was not acceptable and the fact that they expect me to have a relationship in the future and say it's not fair when I mention something like no contact. It's not like I want to go no contact, they are my parents after all, but if thats what I need to do to get this kind of shit out of my life then so be it. It's not healthy for anyone involved and I would rather not expose my boyfriend and potential future family to moments like it. I'm glad they drove me to the ERs but none of what happened before that was acceptable nor does it excuse it.

The morning was peaceful in comparison. I spent it in ERs so of course they were going to act "nice" around the doctors but the guilt tripping would happen any time they left the room. Got home dead tired and fell asleep pretty soon after. I woke up to all of your support! Someone donated $200 on my kofi page! I only had $5.17 in my bank before that! I stared on the paypal notification on my phone for at least 5 minutes before frantically trying to figure out my password after nearly crying. I did cry while typing this all out. Your comments on neocities have also meant a ton to me! I'm sorry if I have been concerning everyone but at least we have gotten the ball rolling together. Words can't describe how much I appreciate you all!

03/29/2025

I've been in the ER for a few hours now. It's been a long ass night and morning. Will update you all once I get more info.

03/28/2025

My parents are refusing to take me to the ER because of money and because they refuse to acknowledge that I vomited part of myself up. They are trying chalk it up as just internal bruising and swelling despite me showing them the picture of my own flesh I vomited up. They still claim that it was food. Despite me feeling like part of my body is missing. Despite me being stuck in bed and a chair all day over the past few days and making only one meal a day because that's all my body is allowing me to stand up for. Despite me collapsing twice and constantly being in pain. Yeah sure, I'm sure whatever non emergency doctor that they take me a few months out won't just give them a nasty look and tell them to take me to the ER either. Sure just keep chalking it up as drinking too much one night. Even if that was the case, there is clearly something very fucking wrong with my body and it needs to get addressed before it kills me or makes my quality of life permanently worse.

03/24/2025

Meat chunks... I just vomited up meat chunks despite not eating meat today. I really hope thats not going to be a reoccuring thing.

01/17/2025

Ridge Racer Type 4 is so much fun! I ended up doing a entire grand prix in one sitting with my boyfriend cheering me on. I feel like even without the hypeman it still would have been a ton of fun, I'm probably going to make an archive page for it! I also played some Metal Gear Solid 1.

01/09/2025

I didn't get misgendered today AND my voice randomly became higher pitched while at the bank. I'm passing now I guess?!?

12/13/2024

Turns out the chest pain was because I don't have a flat chest anymore and need to start wearing bras all the time lol

12/09/2024

Random chest pain that has lasted for two days, how lovely

11/19/2024

I meant to make this yesterday since it was monday but I don't think I had found the words for how I wanted to say it. I have not talked to my boyfriend's brother since this all went down and I plan of keeping it that way. If he wants to lie and try to force me to feel a certain way then I will repeat what I said on the 15th, I have lost all respect for him. Since then, he told his girlfriend about all of this and she sent me and my boyfriend a long ass text basically chewing me out over... nothing? She couldn't even tell me what I did that was so bad that she was treating me like that. Her exact words in response to me asking what I did was "Look at your words. Reflect on your actions." If we want to talk about actions, what your boyfriend did was beyond fucked up! She also made it very clear that she is not a reasonable person with her own words. If I actually did something wrong I like to know so I can improve myself as a person but trying to take advantage of that will get me red in the face angry with you. It apparently also got my boyfriend mad enough to blow up and chew them out which is really good, I was worried about my self as a person and how I was being treated so I likely would have had to of broken up with my boyfriend if he sided with them. On top of all that, I had talked to my mom about the situation directly with my boyfriend and her own past experience with the topic made me want to vomit. She pretty much ended up in a similar situation when she first started dating my dad, his side of the family started going after her for something she didn't do yet to this day they still hold a grudge. Now I stand here waiting.

11/15/2024

My boyfriend's family is trying to get in-between our relationship, his brother is lying about me to him and his parents about things like "using him for money". My boyfriend buys me food every now and then so I can eat something other then cups of noodles every once in a while. He claims I try to gaslight my boyfriend. This implies I don't view my partner as an equal and want power over them which is outright false. He claims I threatened him which is a outright lie not based on reality. I very much love my boyfriend so the fact that his brother is trying so hard to ruin the relationship is genuinely distressing. I trust my boyfriend to make the right decision at the end of the day or at least I would have if his parents didn't get involved. One of them texted him something along the lines of "don't put anything above family". Add this on top of everything going on politically and yeah, stress pains and my stomach are eating away at me. If you are reading this Brady, sincerely know you've lost all the respect I had for you. You are the one that stalked me online to the point where I felt like deleting my old social media accounts was necessary.

You don't fucking know me

11/10/2024

Smoking is bad and you should not do it but given how this past week has been, we all could collectively use a cigarette. I for sure could have used one which is why I didn't turn down the offer when my younger brother offered one. It had been over a year since the last time me and my younger brother had caught up with each other so as we sat outside in near freezing tempatures on a silent night, we talked. We reminisced about stuff that happened in the past and our relationships. It was a very uplifting moment for me that I already cherish deeply. I miss the times when I didn't feel so distant from my siblings but I also understand that the distance was important for us all to grow as people. We grew up in a toxic household and as a result became toxic people. I recognized this years ago and seeked to fix that within myself immediately after so it makes me glad to see my younger brother recognize this too.

Call of Duty is pro war propaganda

Created: 7/25/2024

Have you ever questioned the logic behind the media that you consume? I have a feeling the average cod player does not. To be fair, the last call of duty to not just be straight up propaganda was World at War and thats because it wanted to portray WW2 as a brutal and violent experience which it did really well for the time! However this post is not calling out WaW, it's calling out direct connection that CoD has with military indoctrination and recruitment. I will be comparing CoD to the Hotline Miami series due to their similarities and their key differences.

Hotline Miami is anti-war
(Spoiler Alert!)

Hotline Miami 1 is a game set in... you guessed it, Miami. It takes place in a timeline where Russia was at war with the US, they won by nuking San Francisco causing a surrender from the US. Due to this, American and Russian politics are on shakey grounds and the Russian Mafia swoops in during the power vacuum. This causes a large portion of the population to become Russophobic. Jacket's (the character you play as is Jacket) friend who just goes by the name 'Beard' was in San Francisco when the nuke dropped, killing him instantly. The player is unaware of this at first due to Jacket being a unreliable narriator that was stuck in a coma for most of the game. Before you realize any of this, the game asks you "do you like hurting people?" which gives the player incentive to think about their actions. Jacket doesn't kill because he enjoys it, Jacket kills for revenge and does not enjoy it but the players don't understand this unless they think critically about their actions. In Hotline Miami 2, Jacket is not a playable character. Jacket is in a jail cell waiting for seemingly nothing. This pissed off a lot of player that didn't understand the plot of HM1, in fact so did the rest of HM2. Hotline Miami asks you if you like hurting people and Hotline Miami 2 says "fuck you for enjoying this, heres more of what you wanted but we don't think you will like how it ends" HM2 starts you off as a movie director who is using his own movie to larp violence, this brought his own downfall when he gets shot on set with live ammunition by mistake, Alec Baldwin style. Next you play as the fans who mirror themselves off Jacket and make violence into their asthetic. These characters are direct references to the HM1 fans that play without a care for the story and just like the thrill of violence. They also meet a violent end. Manny Pardo is a detective and serial killer, his motives are similar to the fans but his methods are different. He meets his end holding a gun at his front door, parinoid that his police buddies had found out about his secret life when in reality they had only called him to warn about the nuke that is about to hit Mimai. These nukes were dropped as a direct result of these copy cats attacking Russian politicians and Mafia. The message that you should get from Hotline Miami 1 & 2 is that violence begets more violence and will ultimately result in the destruction of everything. When I beat these games, it personally was a life changing experience that resulted in me going down a different path in life.

Call of Duty is pro-war

In stark contrast to Hotline Miami, CoD is series that will often times glorify and make war out to be a cool, action filled experience. This feels way more sinister when you look at the core audience of CoD which is people under the age of 18. These games target younger and impressionable people and at no point ask about the senselessness of the actions taking place on screen. If fact, war crimes are often commited then immediately ignored. These games will often times portray russians as brutes without an ounce of moral fibres which is in stark contrast to Hotline Miami 2 which makes you play as one of the Russian Mafia members which humanizes them and deliberately adds a moral conflict between what the players want and the what the gameplay is showing. CoD never does this and when it attempts to, it's for shock value and to dehumanize the baddies. In CoD you almost always have a baddie that you need to go after and their stance is unquestionablly evil. The US military likes this because it trains young people to do as told and not to question the orders and motives. There are exceptions to this rule but again, their motives are not thought provoking and instead mirror that of a child's (Shepard in MW2 I am talking about you). Hotline Miami wants you to think critically about your actions while CoD's stories and world building falls apart with any real retrospective thoughts.

Why bother talking about this?

Until around mid 2023 I was constantly playing CoD games. Did you know the that the Wii ports still had functional multiplayer servers up until the end of last year? The verification server's on Nintendo's end went ages ago but you could still access these servers and play matches online thanks to ocarina codes. I left that community shortly before the shutdown due to the growing transphobic sentiment and the lack of care around people cheating. These games were my childhood and I now have extremely mixed feelings about them. They are fun but they are also propaganda and should be treated with critical thought in order to avoid any brain worms that they try to insert. When I was apart of the CoD Wii community I noticed a crazy amount of children there. I don't think video games make people violent unless the player is impressionable which the average child is. I can only image what kinds of brain worms kids are picking up from them now. There is way more that I would like to say on this topic and I could talk about Hotline Miami for day but I also want to do other stuff lol.

My head is about to burst I swear

Created: 7/21/2024

If you have read my blog post titled "The state of US Politics" then you understand that shit in the US is most likely going to hit the fan soon. Since making that post I realized that this shit is more dire then I originally thought. These people are straight up fascists and I have no issues saying that anymore because they are saying the quiet parts outloud. This shit is being writen on the walls for eveyone to see. Trump claims that he has nothing to do with the heritage foundation yet his own "Agenda 47" takes points straight from Project 2025 AND hes the likely candidate of the upcoming presidential election.

Current Objective:
Survive

If you are not a christian cis white male, you need to find community and like minded people + support them. If you are a christian cis white male but understand where we are heading politically, please become an ally and give support where possible. If you have money and space to spare, please find and help people that are going to need shelter. Talks about civil war is becoming more and more common place so if you live in a right leaning state, consider moving to a sanctuary state or to a safer country.

My current situation isn't great

With that being said, I at least have plans in place depending on how hard shit hits the fan. If you don't have plans already, please please please fix that before it's too late!

Firefly Sighting

Created: 7/13/2024

I saw fireflies for the first time last night, at first there was only one but then I saw multiple flashes of light coming from the grass. They only flashed for a second or so which made getting photos of them hard, thanks to my boyfriend we have this picture.

The state of US Politics

Created: 6/29/2024
Updated: 7/21/2024

The Presidential Debate

I'm not talking about any debates that took place on tv, I'm talking about the current debate between US Citizens. Once again we are left with two options and both suck. On one side you have our current fossil of a president and on the other you have a fossil of a felon. Neither are good options and both are very much showing their age. Once again we are in a situation that requires everyone to get out and vote but thats not likely to happen. There are people out there that genuinely think Trump is the better option out of the two now which is batshit insane. Biden isn't a good option either but at least he's not openly trying to turn the government into a dictatorship. The system is broken beyond repair if our only real options is vote for someone who wants to continue to help a genocide overseas or someone who wants to genocide their own citizens.

Existential Dread

I am extremely concerned about the future. Project 2025 is seeming like a possible reality, people that I used to be freinds with have pushed me away due to their political beliefs and I have had to so the same. I wish this was a topic that could be talked about calmly but at the end of the day one side of the "debate" wants people like me to not exist. If you think rationally and with the wellbeing of other people in mind, you are their enemy. The parallels to Nazis are way too common to be coincidence. Nazis thrived off uneducated people that followed orders without questions. Both Nazis and the "republican party" have this weird thing against immigration. Trump has many upon many parallels to Adolf Hitler and his retorics. How is a felon not allowed to vote yet is allowed to run for president? How does that make any sense at all?

Seperation of Church and State
(is being undermined as we speak)

Ever thought it was a bit weird that up until college, all kids in the education system have to repeat the pledge of allegiance? Ignoring how weird that concept is for a moment, why is god mentioned in the current pledge? Which god are we talking about? (thats a retorical question, it's specifically the Christian variety despite Christianity being Abrahamic) The original pledge had no mention of god whatsoever so why was this added?

Project 2025 is bad news for
EVERYONE

If you are not aware of what Project 2025 is, you have been living under a rock. It is a 900+ page plan made by the Heritage Foundation. Some of it's goals include:
- Expanding the power of the president
- Gutting the Department of Education
- Create a body that will certify teachers who embrace right wing extremist values
- Attacking programs related to LGBTQ+ Youth and anything diversity related
- Tax cuts for already wealthy buisness people
- Place immigrants into camps
- Place Furries and LGBTQ+ folk in jail
- And many many more nasty horrible things that are the opposite of democracy.

If it seems like they want people to be dumb and uneducated, thats the point. These people love the dumb and uneducated because they are more likely to blindly listen and do what they are told.

Presidential Immunity is fucking dumb

Not even two days after starting to write this, the supreme court ruled that any official acts that the president commits cannot be prosecuted in court. What does that even mean? It means exactly as it sounds. The ruling was vauge to allow the president to say what is and what isn't official acts. Not only does this protect Trump from any criminal charges, it makes whoever is the president at any given point able to:
- Order assassinations on anyone
- Legally charge someone with something they did not commit
- Pardon criminals without contest
- Setup and run a coup
- Resist the peaceful transfer of power at the end of their 4 years
- Basically anything else you could imagine

This ruling pretty much makes the president into a king. As things currently stand, it's hard to call the United States a Democracy. It's a scary time to live here...

Have you seen this moth before?

Created: 6/18/2024

It has been identified!

According to midnight solarium, this is a Blinded Sphinx also known as the Paonias excaecata. After doing my own research on it I am pretty sure this is correct! The Paonias excaecata is a somewhat common large moth able to be found around most of North America. These moths are nocturnal, you can find them easier at night. The Paonias excaecata start off their life as a Hornworm Caterpillar. Once they mature and turn into their adult form they no longer eat, they only use the energy that they have stored up! This makes their only priority finding another Paonias excaecata to mate with. Despite this goal, they are docile around humans!